"I'm DONE!"

Like my mother always says...."I'm done" I'm done with them...Its fucked up..i'm fucked up!!! I have this hatred for you!!! FFFUCCCKK YOU! And my god damn psychology assignment is to write to a friend that might bw considering suicide....FUUCKKK OFF!!! i'm actually going crazy!!! are you kidding me!! I'm tired....sooo tired!!! My mother has been crying all day and I had to go to therapy with her...."And bow does that make you feel drew??" ummm wow...bblllleeehhh sadhaskjdhakds ACTUALLY....................................... I need a hug.

Going to Vancouver again

So I'm going to Vancouver again...without nick....

Right..I wonder how this is going to be...

I mean I love vancouver and going there, I kow is goin go make me really happy but also sad because I might not end up here. I don't know...I just really wish nick was there. Why am i so sad right now??

I'm so sad...

ok...i'm stoping...right ow

mmmmghjgugjgkgjgu

Yesturday I went with nick to make Please quiet ourselves music video. it was alot of fun...kelly was there as well. I was umm I guess you would call it the Still Photographer.....

Right now I'm tired and are having really bad dreams....I'm going to vancouver in two days. Yay...I think??? Its with gigi and diane...So it might be a blow out...We will see.

ALSO!!

I'm in a better mood! I really thik everything going to be ok in college...I really do. Love is worth everything to me. I'm in a really big art mood at the moment.....I have a couple idea's for some art peices, I think if I do Emily Carr I will have an amazing time...but if nick doesn't go its not worth it to me. End of story. I'll be ok. really.....

Anyway.

I need to write a song...tonight.

Ahh! finish it I mean. I hope it turns out alright.

.....soo...

I hada really bad dream last night and its put me over the edge... Gigi died.....and my mom didn't even tell me. It was really sad....ffukcckkinn shit!...I don't understnad why I had that dream.....I"m really sad at the moment.

Anyway on a new note. I'm very excited about christmas....well other than going to Montana. yeah...But I love December!! EEEE i don't know what to get anyone though. FUCK

miss

I MISS Nick....blleeehhh

confused much?

So i got into Brooks institute of Photography.....I'm just confused beyond anything. Fuck!!! I started realizing that, that school isn't right for me. At All!!! blleeehh. I don't even know if photography is my true passion. Recording music and mixing is. But i'm more scared to take that path...Why am I?? Nick called me last night and told me he would really like to go to Columbia college in LA. Its not worth it to me if we live far away. I have to go with him. Music...yes. Being a DJ Thats what I'm going to do. I should just go with it. and do photography on the side. yes....thats what I'm going to do. I think??? fuck! YEs...ummm???? But what happens if I get sick of it....??? no i probably won't...right?? no i know I won't its music...yes. Alright....I
'm going to apply! YESSS...By george, I think she's got it!!!