Really now

So at the moment....im really missing Nick. Its our 17 month anniversary. HE has this SFAI intern thing. but..after that we're going to have a sweet night out in sf and see juno. I'm really looking forward to it. I've been obsessing over emily carr. I'm so terrified. Monday I had a break down with lucy and started sobbing. I need to get into that school. it means everything to me. Anyway...i don't know what im doing....i don't know where i'm going. This is really sucking balls at the moment. Lucy gave me some candy weed yesterday. Note to self....DON'T eat weed when you've been so freaked out and anxious! I ate way too much and don't really remember much. I couldn't feel anything...it was strobe lightish....it was crazy...honestly. Lucy and I are still really hung over! uugghhh i had some weird notions last night...that I won't go into but i explained it to nick today...and his response was...." uhhh that sounds alittle bit crazy but ok drew" heh...i guess maybe it was. Man..i need to do more things for emily carr but i cant get myself to do it.

I feel like theres a fan over my head....Swwoooosshhh swwooossshhhh swoosshhh! Maybe I'm just going insane and it isn't the pot. Idunno. I would kill for a smoke right now though or a drink. Man.... YES! I also really want to go to Coachella!!!! SO BAD. the line up is amazing! no joke. i also need for my health to get better...even though i've tried everything.

I got nick Valentines day gift today! I really hope he likes it. Its very symbolic in our relationship!

alright.....im really done with ranting....really...