what to do?

Man....

Its so weird to think that I got into apparently one of the top 4 art schools in the country. Strange...It also sucks because nicks letter hasn't come yet. UGH! I really want to know! i mean... he has to get in....

I'm soooo tired right now....

plus...I don't know what to do with schools....I really want to go to Emily Carr...and always has...but Calarts is SUCH a good school. DAMN....what to do???

I really don't know........

I actually really dont. I think I'l be happy in both. I think i should just figure out when nick gets in. AH! He going to right??
RIGHT?? he's going to.

yeah....

wow...IM FREAKING OUT

and its 2am

shit

plus i can't really breathe right.

THIS SUCKS

So today!!!

I got REALLY HIGH!

with alex and Nickkkkk!!! It was pretty laid back and nice. I really hadn't seen Alex in a long time. He's a pretty funny dude in a very understated way. I think thats the right thing to say. I really want to go on a trip with him. I think we should all god up to the land or something. That would be great!!! Anyway... I'm really tired from the weed. I was stupid and kept taking hits..nnnooott really realizing I was taking them. Soooo after that i just started laughing alot.

Good times

You are the Weakest link! GOODBYE

Boom Boom

I'm getting my receiver for my DJ Set. I'm very happy. My life is very crazy at the moment. My mother is having an affair....i think. i found out Gigi's a Coke head....Some strange shit if i do say so myself. I really do feel like "painting myself a hole and fall inside" it. I'm ok though..I think. I just feel weird. Like every things out of wack. But i;m not sad. I mean maybe I am...god i just cant tell....

This goose is cooked, these tongues are tied,
Around the block, an airborne blight,
But looking on the brighter side,
There's far less to which I’d be obliged,

In the meadow where the black breeze blows,
Where underneath the waves, you were most alone,
Can you hear a subtle, aching tone?
Through the water, through the Earth, chill the bones.

Looking on the brighter side.


I can;t really tell whats going on. I'm going around in circles

Sometimes I still have with drawls from hard drugs....I think thats right now.

Though...I don't want it....i just feel really twitchy.
it sucks....majorly.

Sick...sick..sick DO..dododo..do

I saw nick...that was pretty chill....

I'm getting pretty tired of hurting...with health stuff...really tired of it. HOW ABOUT YOU DO ME A FAVOR AND GO THE FUCK AWAY! But no...the hurt just doesnt seem to listen.

"It's like I'm pressed on the handle bars,
Of a blind man's bike,
No straws to grab, just the rushing wind,
On the rolling mind"


DODOODODODODO.....

Did...i meantion....I HATE my photography...


Oh oh and i fixed my website

http://www.bigblackbag.net/websites/default4.asp?WebsiteID=7762

Look Look!!!!

Its horrible!


I feel Fantastic!!!!

DONT YOU???

ANSWER ME! You SLUT!........

Uhhhh????

p.s.
this is what happens when my ipod dies....

dude wtf......

I FUCKING CAN'T FUNCTION WITH OUT IT...

how lame can I get?

Yeah!!! JUST SHUT UP!

You MAMA!

thats right...I WENT THERE!

No!

No No No No No No!!!!


REALLY???

Is this really...No nono it isn't....

seriously.......

what???? I'mmm so not in the fucking mood....


just go AWAY!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


fuck you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I hate you!!!


p.s. Just don't ask.....

p.s.s.....this isn't directed towards anyone...its about my feelings

um I cant sleep anymore. I haven't slept in two days. I'm not understanding what's wrong with me. I'm tired. But i just lay there....It really sucks. Is there something really wrong that I'm just not getting? I started thinking about something tonight. I can't say what it was on my blog...and probably not out loud.

Wow...i feel bad. I'm being really stupid.

really weird....I don't understand why that came up in my head...and why is was an ok feeling thought for a second. I just don't get it. I'm so out of it.

I wonder that the analyzation is behind my thought. I'm wondering if its my unconscious mind. Or if i'm just being scared. I think its the scared.

Scared......thats really what I feel right now.

I hate living here.....

it sucks...

get me out of here! Please!?
it sad how i dont know the feeling comfortable in a house.

im tired....and i'm going to go play guitar...I really need to finish nicks song!

its sooo important to him and that means everything to me.

wow

So Seattle Art institute...is actually a pretty good school! I didn't know that...at all! I think thats my 2nd or 3rd choice. I'm excited a little bit for the future!

I hope nick likes it as well. Other wise....its out! eeeee i'm happy though. Right now. It switches though....dododoo


the woman was really nice though. Really cool!

man...it would be cool to live in seattle. Vancouver's the best though.

I wonder whats going to happen!

head

So this weekend has been pretty swell. I'm tired all the time though. I think it has to do with pain....and stuff.
Dodododododododod i'm soooo out of it. I don't really remember what happened the past couple of days. Uhhhh wow...umm i really don't remember..............

shit....I think somethings wrong.....dude.....

wait.....no SHIT! i know lucy and I hung out at nicks house. Thats all i remember. Well last night nick and i went up to wilton and hung out at wilton. Got buzzed. it was fun! No parents all weekend!

I do feel like i've had a hangover all weekend. Fuck this shit.

Soooooo

you know whats funny...i told nick how i'm a lil more kinkier than he thought..... that was funny. It went pretty well though.

I wonder whats going to happen.

oowww head.......

i really want to know about the future...grrr like whats going to happen!

I'm STUPID,STUPID STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!!!!! FUCCCKKKINNGGGGGGGGGGGGG SODJADJ;ADLJA;JD;A.///DFDSFJSJFS


UUGGGHHHH SHUT UP!!!


SHUT UO SHUT UO SHUT UP!!!! STOP IT!!! NOOOOOOOWWWWWW!

IM TIRED OF THIS SHIT!

UGH....STUPIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

SHIT
SHIT SHIT SHIT

EEEHHHHHHHHHHHHH...................

GO AWAY!! FEELINGS.....STOP IT.......

WHY DO I ALWAYS FIND...THOSE THINGS?????

THE PAST!!!! FUCK IT!!!!!!!

IT ISN'T WORTH IT!!!

I THINK I'M GOING TO THROW UP!!!!

JUST SHUT UP.....